Solitaire and Brahms by Sarah Dreher

Author:Sarah Dreher
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Lesbian Fiction
ISBN: 0934678855
Publisher: New Victoria Publishers
Published: 2016-04-19T06:00:00+00:00

* * *

She woke to the sound of stifled crying. She sat up. "Fran?"

Fran made a low choking noise.

"Don't fight," Shelby said. "You'll just make it worse." She went to her.

Fran had hidden her face beneath the pillow. Shelby eased it away.

"Talk to me."

"Go away," Fran sobbed.

"No."

Shelby thought about turning on a light, but decided against it. Whatever was going on here, it was too private to be seen. She pulled Fran into her arms and held her.

This wasn't ordinary crying. These were hard tears, desperate tears, iron tears, helpless tears. They seemed to come from somewhere deep inside, an old hurt, a hurt that wouldn't go away, a hurt that must be a constant ache in Fran's heart.

She tried to think of comforting words to say. It would be wrong to be silent in the face of this horrible sadness. But the things people usually said—“It'll be all right," "It's OK”—weren’t right. Because she didn't know if it would be all right, and it wasn't OK. This felt like something that would never be OK.

All she could say was what was in her heart. "I hope you can tell me what it is," she murmured gently. "I hope together we can make it better. I don't know who hurt you this way, but I'd like very much to kill them, if it's all right with you."

Fran clung to her. There was an emptiness below her tears that made Shelby think of deserted railroad platforms, and planes silently lifting off runways. A saying goodbye. More than sorrow, more than hurt. This was grieving. For things lost forever. She felt a terrible, hopeless sadness herself. It frightened her. Deeply. It made her heart pound, her head spin. Seeing Fran like this was more intimate than sex. She wanted to stop it, to run away from it, but knew she couldn't. Hang on, she told herself. Go through it. And held Fran tighter.

"I'm here," she said, stroking Fran's hair. She rocked her a little. "I'm not going to leave you."

Fran shook. She cried in huge and violent gasps.

Shelby wondered if morning would ever come. The night was black and still behind the windows. On top of the dresser, the dial of the alarm clock glowed green. She tried to hear the ticking over the sound of Fran's tears, but couldn't. She's going to turn herself inside out, Shelby thought. There must be something she could do to ease that pain. But sitting here like this, holding her, was really the best thing, she knew it instinctively. Let her go. Let it run its course. Make it safe for her. Let your arms be strength and protection and comfort. Try to draw the pain into yourself and take it away from her.

The emptiness was the worst. The hollow, black emptiness. Wind blew through it and made a groaning sound. It was cold, so cold.

Oh, God, Shelby thought. To carry that cold inside you all the time.

She kissed the top of Fran's head. "I love you," she said softly.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.